I'm Your Number One Fan

So here we are in the land of 10,000 auger holes drilled into the ice with care, in the hopes that St. Walleye soon will be there. This year we will have a white Christmas to go with the white July we had, watching softball in mittens and blankets. I still shake my head at that craziness. 2009, the year without a summer pause. On the other hand we’ve only had the snow thrower out once thus far. The other snowfalls were dustings and ok to simply shovel. To all you non-Minnesotans it is indeed called a snow thrower, as a snow blower doesn’t cut it, they are too small. We can’t blow the snow around, we must throw it high and far, and hopefully throw it away from your face as when I do it, it inevitably gusts right back at me and I turn into Frosty the Snow Gal. We have the blower that has hand brakes and is a Harley handlebar mega snow thrower, one upgrade shy of the one that comes with its own heated seat and a street legal permit. We could drive that baby to the store. Tammy usually drives our red almost rider as I stay a safe distance behind, with visions of missing thumbs dancing in my head.

Speaking of thumbs as in I’m usually all thumbs, I hung my first ceiling fan by the window with care, right over the dining room table and chairs. I was so proud. I’m so butch now. Who knew? It really wasn’t even that hard. There was only mild panic when the drill dropped from the ladder and Tammy sprang up to see what was the matter. Oh blasted, Oh Rancid, Oh Friggin, Oh flitzen, you know the drill (pun intended) It looks awesome too.

Christmas Eve will be at our house this year, but early, like at two in the afternoon. So what do you call that? Christmas pre-eve? If you do that twice is it a Re-prieve? Anyway, Tammy’s family will all be coming over, eleven in all I believe, plus us four. Quite a houseful of Sundbergs and Grahams, with one little ole Cannon. We’ll exchange token gifts and ingest huge amounts of food and sweets. Well, except for me who chooses to pass up on the sweets to celebrate the alternative holiday season also known as the Festival of Miller Lites. It should make for a very merry time. I’m making my not quite yet to be challenged to the Booby Flay throw down world famous pulled pork. Pearl's bringing the ham and we’ll have sweets and cookies and all that kind of stuff. Everyone will get to see our newly painted kitchen (and fan of course) before they dash away, dash away, dash away all, to other pastures and rooftops. The kids will be going to their dad’s for midnight mass and to spend the night but Santa will be filling the stockings at our place. It will probably be me with my round little belly, stuffing the socks with bowlfuls of Jelly…Beans. They’ll be back on Xmas day to see what Santa brought. I can tell you there will be no maids-a-milking or lords-a-leaping this year. There will be something though for everyone to enjoy, dogs and kitties included.

Once Christmas is over we don’t have to be to work until the next Wednesday so we are going to be sanding and painting the kitchen cabinets. At least that’s the rumor I read in the Ramsey Rag. Though lazy that I am the thought makes me bristle, and sticks in my craw like the thorns of a thistle. So we shall see… Actually it won’t be too bad.

That’s about it for this blog. Snowmobile safely everyone. This year for us, Christmas is especially about family and love. We are here and gone so quickly. The wink of the eye, a turn of the head, love is too special for us not to spread. So hear me exclaim as you click from this site, HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.

Drive Thru Live Nativity Scenes...Seriously...

Hey there comrades in alms. Bell ringers everywhere (well, except Target stores of course, though Christmas musak abounds EVERYWHERE, and there's the garland wrapping it's seaweed-like arms in a grip of death hanging all over everything and I don't mean garland as in Judy (from Minnesota doncha know). If she only had a brain... Must be that time of year. If you look closely though Valentine accoutrements are whispering out loud begging to be placed on end caps and in aisles..

So today took us once again to Home Depot. This is now a store that I actually know my way around. This was not a goal of mine, yet one I can add to my sash of unexpectedly earned merit badges. It will go next to the "I can get dried coffee stains out of a shirt" badge, but underneath the "I can dig a fence post hole" badge. It resides along side my newest badge called the "I can actually switch out electrical outlets without getting electrocuted" badge. I never woulda thought. I swear if I get a callous, heads will roll. Where are my millions? I know they are out there I just haven't found them yet. Darn you Captain Jack Sparrow. Darn you to heck.

Anyway, during our trek out to earn badges and collect paint cans that once empty will sit for years in the pole barn, garnering a "we really need to do something with those" every other spring or so, in the meantime we were out and about today and I saw at least seven different cars with Christmas trees tied to the top. Pardon me, but is that green? I get beat up daily with the GREEN monster. Save the planet this, emission that, my carbon footprints are leaving tread marks on the planet, no burping in the library, whatever (insert eyeroll here). I thought tree killing ranked up there with smoking in public these days. I hope penance is in the mind of all those choppers. Green penance too. And that's penance not green peace. I don't mind green peas in my salad but not in my ocean or up in my business. You can tune a piaono but you can't tune a fish. REO told me so. I am kiddng in case anyone is squirming.

OK, so what is my point? My point is I live in Anoka County. In Anoka County there is an on going fight between the city council and business owners over those rent-a-signs on trailers that are large and flourescently lettered that you can place near the road to advertise bands, or specials on meals at Zebra Pizza, french tip nails at You Got Nailed, or whatever. Business owners swear they are helpful and the council feels they are eyesores. Well, today while driving past all the tree killers there appeared before me a giant sign in pink letters informing me of the drive-thru LIVE nativity scene on December 12th at "X" church. Yes, a Lutheran one. What ones aren't up here? It's like advertising LIVE nude girls (yeah those dead ones? Borrring). LIVE fake Mary and Joseph complete with a donkey and freezing parent volunteered baby (stage mothers already? HMM). Oh, LIVE petting zoo extra I'm sure. I don't know. Struck me as very odd. I have a non-live nativity scene in my living room.

I guess that's all I have to say for today. I love Christmas as much as the next Judeo-Christian person, just sometimes the whole thing seems overdone by our pseudo capitalistic bent. I know I can drive-thru to get a Whopper or Filet-O-Fish, but Nativity? Am I just that Naive? Perhaps. Until next week. HAPPY ALMOST CHRISTMAS EVRYONE. GOD BLESS US EVERYONE (said Tiny Tim, doing his best Gregory House limp)