Hummingbird Legs and the 4th Dimension

G'Day mates. Does anyone say that now that Crocodile Dundee has been uncovered as Greg Norman's alter ego? Or since Steve Erwin got spiked by a sting ray? Steve Erwin, not to be mistaken for Lance Kerwin, our favorite James at 15. Whatever happened to Lance Kerwin anyway? Oh wait. I just Wiki'd him. He's preaching in Hawaii. Sweet. Tell Kirk Cameron hey.

Enough about Lance Kerwin. This blog is all about me, and I just got back from a long weekend in Oklahoma at the lake house (I did not see Keanu Reeves or Sandra Bullock BTW). I did get to see my dad and Ann, Bruce and Christy, my nieces Kirby and Taylor, my nephew Aaron and his wife Hannah, Aaron's brother Daniel, and I met Toni and Jimmy, Ann's daughter and Toni's hay farming boy toy. (No, not Jimmy from the Mickey Mouse Club but that would have been cool....well, if he wasn't dead. That would just be creepy.) Unfortunately, Tammy and Jake and Sarah didn't make it this time and I went solo. That was a void. But the weather was great and tubing and wake boarding and much back porch talk time occured.

Since there were so many Cannon's running around we took meal shifts. Hannah and Aaron and Daniel took Saturday night's dinner. We knew the shifts ahead of time and we eaters were told we would be having a gourmet meal. As meal time approached and preperation began, Aaron proceeded to remove this giant foil bowling ball sized item from the Coleman cooler, forever known as "the human head". It was a large stuffed cabbage. Stuffed with what you say? Jury's out but the butcher who sold them on it better than Billy Mays sold OxyClean said it was a sausage meat blah blah stuffed thing. Like I said, human head. Aaron grilled it while Hannah and Daniel made a yummy shrimp bisque-type soup course. I'm not a huge Basil fan unless it ends in Rathbone and sports a Sherlock Holmes hat, but it was good nonetheless. The head never quite lived up to expectations however. It refused to be grilled. If we were cannibals we'd have had to let it go free. It quit while it was ahead. Buh-dump-bump. In the end most of the table at least tasted it. It was too Fear Factor for me so I stuck to the soup and corn on the cob (after all that was my soak the husks method they used).

Sunday night was mine and Christy's turn, and very wise older women are we, we did a buffet style chicken, chops, and steak option meal with baked potatoes and salad. Go USA! My grill master skills are still rockin'. Christy's sides, to die for (not you Jimmy Mickey Mouse Club guy!) And people could eat whenever. The kids were back out in the boat etc. It worked swell.

But for me, one of the highlights of the weekend was to get to sit with my brother and dad for hours, just talking the way we Cannon's talk. The zig zaggy off-the-wall topic jumping group we are. At one point Bruce was trying to convince me, tongue-in-cheek, that hummingbird's do not have legs. I gave him the "seriously" look. But actually I then had to think about it. I had never actually seen hummingbird legs as they are always in flight when I catch a glimpse. So could I prove it sans Google? Not immediately, though I knew it wasn't true. But did I? Did I really? So when one confronts and demands, "A-HA! How do they land then Mr. Smarty pants?" His quick reply is, they rarely do, but if they have to they balance on their chest cavity. So basically he's telling me hummingbirds are Weebles with wings. He said yes, they wobble but they don't fall down. Just then one LANDED on the iron arch post holding the hummingbird feeder in the back yard. Yes, they have little legs and feet. Classic. After all that Bruce just shrugged and said, "Made you think." To which I replied ala Dorothy Parker, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink and you can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think.

The other thing he's tossing around is his theory that if a three dimensional object leaves a two-dimensional shadow (length and width) then we are the shadow of the fourth dimension since that would leave a three dimensional shadow. I can't disagree totally with his logic but the holes make a fence post digger jealous. Don't even get me started on our discussion surrounding the concept of time.

So I got back last night and the kids started school today. Yay. If only they would roust that easily mid-term. But their day went great and we are back in action, a whole pack. When I got home last night they had decorated the kitchen with red white and blue streamers and made signs saying Welcome Home! We missed you! How freaking awesome is that? Even when they know I'm the homework enforcer. I'm in the process of makin' me a new switch now. They was so sweet. Life is good.

Until next time. I love you all! ENJOY LIFE!!!!!

Diane